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How To Get Your Girl Back
by Dean Cortez, co-author of The Alpha Rules
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Hi Dean,
Two weeks ago, I got dumped. I've been totally depressed because I thought this was the girl I was going to marry. I was faithful to her and was always there when she needed me. But the longer we stayed together, the more we seemed to fight.
She was always creating arguments over the smallest, stupidest stuff. It was like she was trying to FORCE me to break up with her, so she wouldn't have to do it.
When I found out she was cheating on me, I had no choice. She was sleeping with her boss, this flashy jerk who's probably banging a bunch of different women. I couldn't believe she would throw away our relationship for someone like that.
My buddies said it's because I'm too "nice," and that women are more attracted to "players." I don't want to believe this is true, but it does seem to be the case.
So can a nice guy also be an Alpha Man? How do I make women feel attracted to me, while staying true to who I am? And, what can I do to get her back?
-- Ed, California
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Ed, a big part of succeeding with women is understanding what they really need. If you want to know how to get your girl back, it begins with this knowledge.
Notice, I didn't say what women WANT.
Because what they SAY they want, and what they actually NEED, are two different things.
The media machine has led to believe that women want a nice, safe, sensitive "metrosexual" guy. A guy who is in touch with his feminine side, and is a friend first and a lover second.
And of course, movies and magazines ram into our heads that an "attractive" guy is also supposed to make a lot money, stay in great shape, spoil his girlfriend with attention, and be completely available to her every time she needs to complain about something.
Well, here's the big secret, Ed...
What women NEED -- on a core, biological level -- is a whole OTHER set of qualities.
Women are programmed to DESPISE weak men. The most important female need is to feel SAFE, and a weak man is never going to be able to make her feel this way.
When you constantly defer to a woman and let HER run the relationship, you might think you're being a "good boyfriend."
But you're actually screwing up the relationship and TURNING HER OFF.
Ed, you were playing the wuss in your relationship. Eventually, your girl felt the need to go hook up with a guy who had stronger Alpha qualities. And it sounds like that is exactly what she did!
(You know what a "wuss" is, right? It's a combination of the words "wimp" and another word that starts with P and ends with Y.)
This is situation MANY guys get into. We call it the "vicious cycle."
A guy starts dating a girl, and she begins to make demands.
The demands are small at first: always answer when she calls your cell phone.
Spend time with her instead of watching the football game.
Be available to talk to her and see her whenever she wants, even if you're busy with work or other friends.
Over time, the demands sometimes get bigger: get a better job, don't hang out with your single buddies because they're a bad influence, etc.
Eventually, they get married -- and that's when the demands become major. She wants a bigger house, a nicer car, a child or two (even though you don't feel ready.)
Most guys accept these demands as part of the relationship, and they go along with her demands to avoid having arguments.
(They don't want to go through the pain of trying to figure out how to get your girl back, so they keep playing the game by HER "rules.")
You would THINK that she would appreciate this, right? After all, you are always making the effort to please her!
But it actually has the opposite effect. She becomes annoyed by the fact that he won't show a backbone. So she keeps making more and more demands, nagging the guy, henpecking him and controlling every area of his life.
Subconsciously, she's trying to FORCE him to show his Alpha side.
But most guys never do. They just get beaten down and "whipped."
You see, women, in their hearts, don't want a guy who always defers to her and agrees with her. This type of guy radiates WEAKNESS, and a woman is never going to feel safe and secure in a relationship with a weak guy.
She has a core need to be with an Alpha Man.
She might SAY she wants a "nice guy" -- the sweet, caring type who brings her flowers, provides a shoulder to cry on, and jumps through any hoop she puts in front of him.
But she has an inner NEED to be with a Alpha Man.
A guy who LEADS and MAKES DECISIONS.
If you want to know how to get your girl back, this "attitude shift" is where it starts.
When she goes through one of her emotional hissy fits, she needs an Alpha Man who will be FIRM and calm her down.
You can be the sweetest, kindest guy in the world -- faithfully bringing home a paycheck -- but if you're a wuss, your woman is actually going to RESENT you for it.
Women are wired to want to be with Alpha Men. They need the sense of stability, security and strength that an Alpha Man provides.
And we're not talking about physical strength as we explain in our book, showing
EMOTIONAL strength is far more important, and hugely attractive to women. (Rule
#1 of the 21 Alpha Rules in our book is "Master Your Emotions.")
She wants a MAN who makes her feel comfortable being the WOMAN.
Pick up your copy of The Alpha Rules and you'll learn how to make this transformation. This will propel you to success not only with women, but in business and beyond.
You CAN be a nice, laidback, respectful dude -- and you should be. But you've got to have a strong, decisive Alpha core that makes women feel safe and protected.
We'll show you how to make this change -- and women are going to LOVE you for it.
You can be rich, and have movie-star looks, and all those other qualities that are supposed to be "attractive."
But take our word for it: until you make your personal Alpha transformation, you're going to find yourself in unfulfilling relationships with women who will eventually LEAVE you (or drive your crazy with their demands!)
Stop worrying about what women want. Learn what they NEED, and BECOME THAT GUY.
In order to generate DEEP ATTRACTION from women, learn the 21 principles contained in The Alpha Rules. By next weekend, you'll be ready to put them into action!
The Alpha Rules book contains many other tips and tactics on how to get your girl back, but this mental adjustment is where it all begins. Once she views you as the Alpha Man she NEEDS, you'll no longer be wondering how to get your girl back. SHE will be the one asking for a second chance!
Your Wingman,
Dean Cortez
The Alpha Rules
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