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First Date Conversations and Strategies

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Dean & Carlos' Desk - Wednesday, 4:42 PM:

Carlos & Dean,

After reading your book THE ALPHA RULES, I decided to strap on a pair of cojones and break up with my (now ex) girlfriend. She’d been totally controlling and manipulating me for the past four years. Anyway, I’m back on the dating scene now and feeling like a true Alpha Man.

I met a scorching hot Brazilian girl at my gym and asked her out. But I’ll admit I’m rusty with the “first date” stuff, I’ve been off the scene for a long time.

Any tips for closing this deal?

Eric, Las Vegas, NV


In order to pull off the ultimate first date, create deep attraction, and hopefully steer things back to your place on your date, you’re going to have to start by using the methods and conversation strategies that we explain in our book.

We'll give you a few fundamental “first date” tips to always remember:

  • Keep your spending to a minimum.

With first dates, never try to impress her by taking her to a nice restaurant. This puts you in the wrong position. Remember, this is her chance to sell herself to YOU, not the other way around. Meet her for coffee (not at a Starbucks -- find a cool, out-of-the-way, comfortable coffee shop for dates).

Or, meet her for drinks. Skip the places that everyone knows, and find “date locations” that will show her you’re an original type of guy who knows the cool “off the radar” spots.

  • BONUS TIP: Make her feel extra special by saying to her, “This is one of my favorite places. I think of it as my private sanctuary, I never bring anyone here. But I thought you’d enjoy it so I wanted to show it to you.”

By including her on your "secret world," you create a more enduring connection. Just be sure that you are not doing this as a method of manipulation.

NOTE: You must genuinely want to bring this woman into your "sanctuary," or you're short-changing yourself by sacrificing something special in your world to someone you don't really feel special about.


  • Have a backup plan.

You never know: the place you’ve selected could be closed for renovations, bad weather might ruin the plan, etc. Or, God forbid, she might spot her ex-boyfriend in the restaurant and tell you she wants to eat somewhere else.

Have a second location ready to take her to at a moment’s notice. The Alpha Man is a man of action, and always has a plan - with a backup just in case.


  • Plan on keeping the date SHORT.

For a first meeting, 1-2 hours is usually perfect. You want an escape hatch in case she doesn’t meet your standards.

(Never plan some all-day activity with a girl until you know enough about her that you want to spend that much time with her.)

Also, unless you’re confident that you can take her home at the end of the night, it’s better to cut things short and create the sense that your time is precious and limited. YOU should be the one to decide when the date ends.

“Well I’ve got a huge day tomorrow, I need to be up bright and early…we’ll have to do this again soon.”

Don’t stretch things out so that she’s the one checking her watch and telling you she needs to get home. End the date on a high point, before things start winding down. Follow that first rule of showbiz: Leave her wanting more and plan on sealing the deal on a future date.

Remember, when you've got a lot of women in your life, you're in no rush to "close the deal" with any one of them because of how you're stacking your options. The beauty of this approach is that you'll wind up with more women wanting to close it with you because of your cool, relaxed, Alpha Approach.

And the option is always YOURS to exercise.


  • Always be punctual.

Screw being “fashionably late”: it’s disrespectful and sets a bad tone. Make sure you know the directions to the location, and arrive 10 minutes early so that you’re totally prepared for her. This also sets the tone for the possible relationship in her future. She should know up front how you roll.

Being that she is a female, you can expect her to arrive 10-15 minutes late. So one of the best things you can do is bring something to read so that you don't look like Dorky Dude waiting on his date. Your time is precious.


  • Dress appropriately.

It’s always better to be a little overdressed than underdressed. If she’s a hot chick, she’s going to dress well for the date. She’ll feel uncomfortable if you roll in wearing a tee-shirt and shorts.


  • Let her do most of the talking.

Be a good listener and ask questions that prompt her to open up and share with you. Again, maintain the attitude that this is her chance to impress you. It’s better to be vague and cultivate a sense of mystery around yourself, than to tell her your life story within the first two hours.

Keep the spotlight on her. Women love to talk about themselves and appreciate a guy who listens to the story. The more details she shares with you, and the more you genuinely appreciate what she’s saying, the more of a connection you will build with her. 

Keep in mind that first-date sex is not always a requirement - and most of the time it shouldn't be.

A lot of guys get hung up on seeing how "far" they can "get" with a woman on the date. Rather than make it an all-or-nothing deal, the tried and true method is to establish a SOLID base of women who you are qualifying to be in your life.

Trust us on this one... once you get the hang of attracting women, it's much more necessary to be picky. You don't want to be saddled with emotionally difficult women, or drama queens. It's easy to get sex; it's often difficult to get out of a bad relationship. Think Big Picture.

Now, you need to read the next couple paragraphs carefully, because what we have to say will have a DIRECT IMPACT ON YOU...

There is something that a lot of men out there will never realize about guys who are good with women (and this especially includes the TRUE 'pickup artists'):

Men who are good with women are skilled in a common set of behaviors that make them SUCCESSFUL IN EVERYTHING they put their mind to.

You've heard of the "Midas Touch?" Just like the mythological king, everything they touch turns to GOLD.

Anyway, these guys consistently approach women, get phone numbers, get dates, and get all the fun they want with women... (even the physical stuff)


These guys consistently reach their goals, get results, get success, and get all the fun they want with LIFE.

These guys are what we call the ALPHA MEN.

No, he's not the guy who's an aggressive jerk in the bar, either.

We know something that most guys never learn. It's a KILLER secret that most guys don't realize about attracting women...


It's NOT ripping someone off if what you're doing gives you a better example of how to MODEL and make course corrections to your life before you fall into consistently LOSING behaviors.

And if you demonstrate LOSING behaviors too long, you know what you are?

We'll let you figure that one out. (We'll give you a hint: It starts with LOSE and ends in ER. And we don't honestly believe any man should become that.)

In other words, if you simply figure out how to present your TRUE personality in the RIGHT WAYS, you'll do just as good as they did - WITHOUT imitating them!

Anyway, now we're PISSED OFF...

We'll tell you 2 reasons why...

1) We realized that these simple behaviors that the Alpha Men were engaging in were destroying other guys chances with women. They were literally GETTING ANY WOMAN THEY WANTED with very little effort.

This wasn't fair to other guys that deserved to get the same thing in their lives, too.

2) We realized that even though these behaviors were easy to identify, LESS than 5% of men were aware they even EXISTED.

And that's the one that pissed us off the most.

Are you starting to see where all this is going?

Here's why you need to SIT UP and read this CLOSELY:

After over 5 years of helping men learn how to improve their dating lives, we STILL hadn't made a big enough dent in the number of guys who knew about this "secret."

We realized...


Now it's time to give you the same KILLER tools these Alpha Men
have had for years to get the Alpha LIFESTYLE that almost every man


Download a copy of our special e-book that will outline the PRECISE behaviors of these Alpha Men.

We call them ALPHA RULES.

Yeah, we know, you don't care about a bunch of rules.

Here's the important part, so PAY ATTENTION:

What you care about is how these are going to point you towards a better LIFESTYLE.

You don't want to know that this thing is almost 300 pages of detailed strategies and techniques...



And you'll also get a look at all the behaviors that are actually DESTROYING your ability to attract women into your life.

(EXPOSED - finally!)

We're not going to waste another minute telling you about it all here.

Go discover the beauty of this system right now...

Go get your copy of The Alpha Rules.


Your friends,

Carlos & Dean


PS: Really, if you're serious AT ALL about improving the quality of
your life - in ALL areas, you owe it to yourself to take a step in
the right direction. We teach the methods that honorable men -
powerful ALPHA Men use every day to get what they want from life.

No manipulation required.

And now you can get these methods, too.

Go here now...


- Carlos & Dean


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